Tag Archives: connection

The Boy Who Fell to Earth

I turned my gaze upward to behold a most clear star-lit sky. I felt as if he were looking out into the farthest reaches of the Milky Way.  I saw planets, moons and stars up close – as if I could reach up and touch them.  There were swirling nebula, shooting stars and comets, waves of light with colors unlike any on earth.  Everything was filled with a deeply peaceful, dynamic energy.  I felt all that I was seeing was part of a vast whole.  I heard ethereal tones echoing, filling my entire being and more beautiful than any song I would ever hear.

 I was filled with an immeasurable joy.  I felt that I was of the same substance as the entire universe: that there was no real barrier between it and me.  I realized that I was something very big and unlimited.  Normal time and space did not exist.  I outstretched my arms and realized I was in an open channel and could fly as high or as deep as I wished.  I did not worry about falling or finding my way back.

 The celestial sky looked familiar to me and I felt like I had come home.  Everything was welcoming me and there was a conscious presence of the deepest love, sanctuary and joy.  It was like the entire universe was alive, and that its breath and mine were one and the same.  The realization dawned: This is where I’ve come from; this is who I am.  


This childhood dream impacted the trajectory of my life. Perhaps deep inside each one of us there is a memory of a dream that was very special to us – that conveyed an important message to us and that carried with it feelings that would affect how we see the world.  Those dreams in which we touch the core of life are like celestial emissaries – singing the song of our souls – which can become like beacons when we get lost in the trials and tribulations of the world.  In my case this dream has always reminded me of what is important in my life – and what is important is often hidden from normal sight, yet not far away at all

Beyond all of our to do’s, our tasks, our goals and the plans, there is no more important thing that this very moment we are in.  This moment we are in will never come again.  And while this moment may be challenging or filled with pain, loss or frustration,  it is a moment that belongs to us.  To push it away or look past it to a “better time” might miss the message or gift that this moment brings.  Trying to be present to the moment we are in is not just healthy for ourselves; it is ultimately the best way to nurture our children and to reap the greatest benefits of being parents and teachers.

The human mind is not very accustomed to being present to each moment, however.  It is programmed to proceed in a linear fashion from one thought to the next, and in like fashion we move from one task to the next.  Our culture is accomplishment driven, and we are measured by what we produce and get done.  Our lives are geared toward getting results.  And each result we get drives us on toward the next bottom line, the next goal. We know this string of activity is the nature of the world we live in,  but we also know it is not the ultimate meaning of life.

In our ordinary workday consciousness, the spaces in between tasks, like the spaces in between thoughts, are not that valuable to us.  They are the interludes between what we are doing now and what we need to do next.  But in the realm of spiritual awareness and growth, it is those very spaces that take on significance.  They become a refuge, a gateway to new levels of awareness about ourselves and about our lives.  Inside those spaces is where we are reminded of who we really are where we hold what is most important to us.  In order for us not to live out the movie “Groundhog Day”, where we are mindlessly repeating the same tasks day after day, week after week and year after year, we need to intentionally shift from our “normal operating system” to our “pause in awareness mode”.

To stay in touch with the core of who we are, we must try to be cognizant that we are moving from a space in which thoughts are important and necessary to a mode of being where thoughts are like the tips of waves.  It is what lies in the depths beneath the waves that we want to reach when we are practicing awareness.  For those brief periods of time when we are pausing in awareness, our normal thoughts are no longer that important to us.  We shouldn’t try to push them away,  but just recognize that there is a level of experience deeper than our thoughts – and that deeper level of experience is what we are aiming for.

To try and find our own inner child, we need time to ourselves. This is not being selfish.  It is being wise and practical.  Ultimately spending more time with our own “inner child” will only help us to be more patient, loving, and inspiring caregivers.  If our intentions are aimed at the healthy and balanced growth and development of our children, then we must nurture ourselves first.  Just like they say on the airplane – “put the oxygen mask on yourself first, then put on your child’s mask.”

From spiritual calm and centeredness come emotional calm and mental clarity.  If we are giving ourselves the soul-nourishment we need whenever we have the opportunity, then everything else will work itself out.  Raising healthy and happy children takes energy.  The batteries of our personal energy are located within – especially in our quiet spaces of inner awareness.


Practice One: Creating time and space for yourself:

Consciously trying to create a time and a space for our own personal reflection can be an important step in expanding the possibilities for growth and empowerment in our lives.  Create a special area in the house that is especially intended for your own personal reflection.  In this special place, you can set up a shelf, a small table, a rug or a cushion. You can include items such as inspiring pictures, a candle, flowers or other items that will help foster a peaceful atmosphere.  Regardless of how small the place, the most important thing is take a few minutes each day to tune out of our ordinary mind and tune into a higher and deeper level of awareness.  After a short while of regular practice, we will feel the benefits:  greater peace, poise, and patience, as well as greater contentment. 

Practice Two:  Reflecting on our dreams:

You may have had a dream in your childhood that was special to you.  If you cannot remember any special childhood dreams, stay attuned when you first awake and see if you can remember a dream from the previous night.  All dreams “bad” or “good”  may have some meaning or value to us, but the dreams that that leave us with a positive, energizing and inspiring feeling can provide us with “soul nourishment” that we can bring with us into our daily lives.  Take time to sit in your personal reflection space and write or draw the images, feelings or insights that come from the dream you had.  Pause and close your eyes and sit with that awareness for a few moments.  Take a deep breath or two.  Are dreams not simply another realm of experience where we relate to a different, deeper part of ourselves?

Reflection Quote: “That humanity which is revealed in all its intellectual splendor during the sweet and tender age of childhood should be respected with a kind of religious veneration. It is like the sun which appears at dawn or a flower just beginning to bloom. Education cannot be effective unless it helps a child to open up himself to life.”  -Maria Montessori

Postscript: Later when I was about 12,  I remember hearing my parents talking in hushed tones late one night about how little money they had.  How would they afford rent?  Groceries?  School supplies?  Listening to the concern and despair in their voices I was filled with worry and helplessness.  I started to wonder what would happen if we had to move out of our house?  What if we really didn’t have enough to eat and we would all go hungry?  As I lay in bed and my mind was spinning anxiously in this way, out of nowhere a wave of calm came over me.  A vivid memory of my dream came back to me.  I heard a message from within me, saying – “Do not worry about anything. Remember the source you came from.  It will always provide for you.”








Organic Communication Now!

I was just thinking yesterday about the first time my friend Neil Vineberg told me about something called e-mail.  He told me all I had to do was to go out and buy a modem, get it connected to my Apple computer, type in a few codes, set up an address, and we’d be able to communicate from computer to computer.  Poof! It was like magic.  Prophetically, Neil told me at the time this new technology would change the way people communicate.

Neil was right.  It is hard to believe what has happened to us in just 20 years. Technology has indeed changed the way we communicate–and so much more.  We all have access to multiple and ever-evolving ways to communicate: e-mail, cell phones and social media sites like Facebook and Twitter. It seems we are so awash in communication options we hardly know which one to pick up next.

In the midst of this ferment, I’ve been pondering, “does technology makes me feel more connected to the ones I love and care about?” I can send my family, friends, colleagues and clients more messages and hear back from them more frequently and faster than ever before.  But if the question is whether the volume of e-mails I receive makes me feel more loved and intimately connected, the answer is “no.”

What I am finding is the simplest forms of communication mean more now than ever.  Getting a hug from friend for no particular reason, except they are glad to see me, has never felt so good. In fact, the University of North Carolina has published research that proves a hug can actually lower your blood pressure and strengthen your immune system.  When I ask the clerk at 7-11, “How are you this morning?”, and I look in his eyes and pay attention to what he’s saying, he responds as if I have just given him a most special gift.

And nothing via e-mail could touch me as much as the birthday card I just got from my big sister Jan. In her own inimitable handwriting it says, “ To our very special brother who is so dear to our hearts.”  (And for the record, ‘very special’ is underlined. 🙂 ) Something about the feel of the card in my hand and knowing it was written by her hand transmits the love in my sister’s heart straight into mine.

Inspired by the billion dollar organic food industry, organic clothing lines and the organic dry cleaner on my block, I’m ready to start a movement called “Organic Communication Now!”  We can’t turn back the clock and we probably wouldn’t want to if we could.  But let me be the first to stand up for old-fashioned, simple and “organic” ways of communicating.  A hug, a smile, a thank you: delivered person-to-person by physical gesture, voice, handwriting or art. These have more significance and impact than ever before.  They remind us all of our shared humanity, something that pre-existed technology by more than a few thousand years and something we have expressed with utmost care through story, pictures and music throughout the ages.

In closing, let me share with you what my friend at Ali Baba’s food truck told me last week as he handed me a homemade falafel sandwich, “A smile can change someone’s whole life.”

Now it’s off to check my e-mail.

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